Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Perfect Lover

OH yeah! You read that title right, I just totally read a book called The Perfect Lover.

After finishing the Twilight series this weekend I felt a deep sense of loss knowing that I would perhaps never again read something so hopelessly terrible yet totally fulfilling. But then! I read Nicole's post at Book Escape reviewing this hilariously trashy book and remembered that there is an entire world of books meant just for this purpose! Romance novels! As if the world was trying to send me a message, I also happened upon a post at Books I Done Read that applauded the blog Rip My Bodice - a blog solely devoted to reviewing romance novels. All of these signs could only point me in one direction - the romance aisle of Half Price Books, where all naughty book are only $3.95! Plus whatever value you place on your pride. Because ladies, buying a book called The Perfect Lover (in hardcover no less) without telling the indie-hipster cashier a made up story about how I'm buying it for a friend as a joke? It takes balls. Which luckily, I have.

I'm sure you are dying to know just what exactly this book could be about, no? I will tell you. Simon Cynster is looking for a wife. Which is sooo weird, because COINCIDENTALLY, at the exact same moment that Simon decides to go wife-hunting, the beautiful Portia Ashford happens to have just decided that she's the marrying kind. Before you barf all over these terrible names, remember that it's the 1800s. Author Stephanie Laurens throws in a bit of Clue-type murder mystery towards the end, but mostly this book is about Portia and Simon learning the perfect ways to lurve each other. And lurve they do.

This book successfully shocked me out of my need to read horrible literature. I think I may have finally gotten it out of my system. At least until I start wondering about the other NINE books by Stephanie in what is called the "Cynster Series". Because DUDES, this book is apparently number 10 in a series that follows the horny Cynster family around!

Anywhoo. For now, I think I may try my hand at a legit book. The kind the Buddy-Holly-glasses-wearing-hipster at Half Priced Books would approve of. I'll let you know how it goes.

6 comments:

Heather J. said...

Oh no! You.did.NOT! Too, too funny. ~LOL~

cranky rae said...

Whoa. Like teenage vampires weren't bad enough. Also, I'm going to say this right here: why are you ignoring me Boner??? I'll be waiting.

mari said...

I absolutely loves this review. Too funny. :)

nbbaker1102 said...

Sometimes it's fun to read really bad books! At least, I didn't have to go out and buy it:>

Amanda said...

Hahhaa...that is hilarious! I've actually done that...well more than once. And then realized why I don't normally read those books. HA!

Oh! And yes NYC SHOULD be nice when you come. I am loving the cooler weather but it's not COLD. A light jacket may be needed at night or in the mornings but just watch the weather because you never know when a fall rain shower may happen. How exciting!

What's your next book book pick?

raych said...

Dude, I would 100% be all, Uhh, this is for a bachelorette party. It's, uhhh, a tawdry romance theme and we all had to bring a gag gift.

But I would blush HARD and the clerk would know it's for me.

Along a similar vein, is it wrong that I've been buying tampons for 15 YEARS and I still get all awkward if the clerk at the till is a guy? Esp if all I'm buying is, say, tampons and lip gloss? Is it wrong that this also goes for toilet paper, which, if I understand biology correctly, is a both-genders product? I'm such a lame.