Shame washes over me as I type this. Why after I totally hated Eclipse did I still borrow Breaking Dawn from my coworker? And why did I read this mammoth book in less than 48 hours? What is wrong with me?! Stephanie Meyer is sprinkling crack on her books. That's the only explanation.
Lindsey asked me in the comments of my Eclipse review last week if I was going to read the last book in the series and I have to say that I agree with her comments. Even though I was totally over Edward and Bella and all the spirit stories, I just felt that I needed to know how it was all going to wrap up. Was she ever going to just become a vampire? Would they really get married? Would Jacob ever just give up? And most importantly, were Edward and Bella ever going to stop teasing me with tame make out sessions and just DO IT already? And by "it" I totally mean the same thing I meant in the 3rd grade when I used the phrase. Without spoiling too much, let me just tell you that all of these questions are FINALLY answered in Breaking Dawn. And thank God, because I was getting crank-ee.
I will admit (as long as I'm in full confessional mode) that I found many of the answers to my questions above answered in a very satisfying manner. This book brought me much more satisfaction than I expected. But now I am going to spoil something (SPOILER ALERT) because I can't not do it. I just have one word to say, or rather, ask. Renesmee? RENESMEE??!! I have never in my life heard a more horrible name and this whole plot line, while completely addictive, was kind of weird and gross and instead of feeling all entranced by Renesmee, I felt totally creeped out by her. But maybe I felt kind of weird and grossed out in a Flowers in the Attic sort of way? Or like Flowers in the Attic meets Rosemary's Baby. And by this I mean that I couldn't tear my eyes away. (END OF SPOILER)
One last complaint and then I'll stop pretending that this is a legit book and that it deserves an actual critique. This book was filled with so many typos that I honestly started to wonder if they employed an editor at all before they just sent it along to the press.
Finally, I would just like to say to anyone in the Pacific Northwest that they are all officially invited to join me on November 21st to see the premier of what will simultaneously be the best and worst movie ever - Twilight. Call me.
2 days ago